Attack ships on fire

Or, we need to talk about water

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion,

I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate,

Sommeliers discussing the effect different kinds of water have on wine

All lost moments in time”

Pic:- A glass of water yesterday

Whoever came up with the phrase “water, water everywhere but not a drop in sight” would want to take a good hard look at themselves and get with the program. I write this mid-February in the year of our lord 2026. Eagle-eyed readers will have noticed that I have of late gotten more religious. And how could I not? With the larger part of the World Church now languishing under the water table, it is now obvious to me that Seventh Seal has been opened, and the Rapture is indeed upon us. Either that or I really need to start taking more vitamin D to boost my mood.

You don’t need me to tell you that water is big business these days and is on everyone’s lips (ahem). In the past, where a shared bottle of wine amongst friends or at book club once provided emotional support, that crutch has now been outsourced to your water bottle. If Jimi Hendrix were alive today instead of asking ”Are you experienced?” as to your state of consciousness, he may now be asking “Are you hydrated?”

Well, are you?

Anecdotally at least I feel there is a clear generational divide, and there is some social significance in this. And before I sound like I’m getting up on my soapbox, my erstwhile grunge-era “disheveled with bad hair” aesthetic is hardly beyond reproach next to millennials admittedly zealous concern for their state of hydration.

While water may sit as one of the most essential needs in Maslow’s hierarchy of survival, wine goes a little further up the chain as part of belonging and bonding. One of the first ever pieces I wrote on wine related to its contribution to ritual titled “Water is not enough” - lovingly made available again here (Link) . As water is now performative, this might need a rethink.

So where am I going with all this? Colour me stunned to see an article pop up on my feed on pairing different brands of water with wine and the negative effects it can have. Who says AI is going to take all our jobs away when a Water Sommelier is now a valid career choice? Drowning, not waving, I struggle to keep my head above water on this one (Apologies, pun intended) Many cultural trends eventually trickle down and get someway reflected through Wine. Colour me biased, but I know of no other beverage that comes close to doing this. So, while it may seem like the middle-aged curmudgeon in me is giving a state-of-the-nation rant, I see the above as a good thing.

The world and wine continue to amaze me every day.

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